TSA

When TSA started full body checks-I made jokes but what happened today at the Augusta, GA Airport is no joke.  I realize today is a holiday and most of the employees were disgruntled.  I "get" that but we are all Americans and we are all in this together.  This is not Nazi Germany where everyone was poked, ordered to get a tattoo, and herded here and there.

My ninety something mother-in-law (I hesitate to even mention her age-it is no one's business, but our government seems to make this an issue), has macular degeneration-for all intents and purposes is blind,
and has suffered many indignities because of her age and disability.  I think today was the coup de grace; at least it was for me.

We took her and my mother to the airport for a flight home.  We checked her in at the Delta counter and the agent was not overly polite but she was civil.  We then proceede to the TSA for the safety inspection.  She was obviously blind and was rummaging around for her ID-even though she had just shown it to the ticket agent (why can't they work together?).  My mom was holding both  boarding passes.  When the ID was found again she showed the agent and was ushered through the scan.  She walked through and then was ordered to take off her shoes and was made to walk through again.  I knelt down and helped take off her shoes.  I was getting really angry-I am sure most Americans have had it with all this PC stuff.  My mother-in-law was blind, in her ninties and DID not pose a safety risk to ANYONE.  At this point, I began to violently question profiling, what is wrong with it? 

As the insanity continued, one agent walked me back to the Delta counter and suggested my husband & I get temporary passes so we could escort his mother to the gate.  I received the passes and walked back to the TSA conveyor belt, took off my shoes, placed my purse in the bin started to walk through the scan and I was asked for my ID (which was still in my purse).  The agent was already holding my temporary pass.  Again it was the ID snafu.  Augusta is the only airport that asks for the ID and the boarding pass at the same time.  All of this could have been avoided.  TSA-you need to re-think the boarding procedure.

We finally made it through the safety inspection.  My mother-in-law burst into tears, vowed NEVER to fly again and was humiliated.  My husband and I were totally frustrated and couldn't console her in what proved to be a traumatic and unnecessary experience.

The Plural I

Time again for a peek into this cazy thing I call my life. I awoke with one of my killer headaches and after yelling at my husband for getting his hair cut too short, I decided to "run errands" the entire day.

I first stopped at the tile shop-we are having our patio retiled and I wanted to make sure the tile I had picked out was still amazing...in other words-I was wasting time and energy but I wasn't at home yelling at my husband or cat.

Then I was off shopping. My first stop was a complete washout except I noticed the top I had chosen to wear with my capri's totally didn't match. Now I was on a mission-to buy a matching top. The next stop on my tour was golden-I hit a sale, a BOGO on tees. I must be living right.

By this time, My head was hurting so bad, I stopped in to a local drugstore and bought my drug of choice-it cost me ten bucks. For a headache! Note to self-feeling crappy was getting more expensive. I was determined not to return home and alienate my family and pet even further. I stopped to have lunch. Actually it was breakfast food and I felt comforted. Note to self...

I felt refreshed enough for a trip to the mall. I parked, got out my make-up and repainted my face then called my mom on the cell. I was laughing and talking -you know, the usual dump call, when I noticed I had gotten make-up all over my purse, my clothes and even the steering wheel. I was wondering how I had achieved this level of stupendous stupidity; I grabbed my wallet and was headed for the mall when I slammed the car door (much like Moses striking the rock) and in that split second realized the keys were in my purse. I was still on the phone to my mother (never could do two things at once and I was already breathing) and I cursed/shrieked and immediately told her what I had done. Over the laughter-I explained that I had to hang up and call Onstar.

Okay-hot mess, let's try to clean this up without a call to my oh-so-perfect, never does a damn thing wrong husband. Long story short-my car was unlocked, the make-up counter at Macy's cleaned me up, and I continued on with my day without another hitch. Do I even wonder why I get headaches?