Monday, October 24, 2016

Betting on Me

Even at a young age, I knew I was always going to win in life; no matter what the obstacle.  I had a seizure when I was two, had to be hospitalized and developed epilepsy at the dawning age of thirteen.

I use the word "dawning" because it dawned on me that I was going to be responsible for me.  I was lucky: it takes most humans all of their lives to realize that.  I had to be smarter, and also more compassionate to survive.  Compassion involves looking through the problem kinda like a doctor or a teacher does.  I chose to be a teacher and never looked back.  I treat looking back like I do regrets-such a waste of time.

This was always a good philosophy for me until I met others who were more selfish than me.  I was used.   I became angry and bitter.  I began to second guess myself.   Wow, what a time waster; I began to concentrate on the past.  Didn't  I realize that the past cannot change and the only thing I could do was move forward and hope for the best?

 I guess my husband bore the greatest part of my depression, anger, bitterness and yes-regret.  Poor guy-never knew what hit him.  I did.  Woe be to the individual who is closest to me when I lose my temper.  He never realized he couldn't fix things-he always tried.

And so that brings me to the present.  And Ive never viewed myself as a winner but I am.  I have a 100% track record for overcoming bad shit that happens.  Good for me-going to be a glorious life.

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