On my mom's 80th birthday-I drove her back to where I grew up and most of my brothers and sisters were born-Fort Eustis, Virginia. We also visited Williamsburg (another memory from my childhood).
8-04-08 I can remember when I was a teenager, all of my aunts and Mother getting together and laughing. Not the polite titter but the lung emptying, head thrown back, tears running down the cheek; gasping laugher that comes from the soul.
I guess I have arrived because at my mom’s birthday party all of my sisters sat around a big round table and we laughed our collective asses off; over our youth, husbands and shilly sit ways.
My husband and I brought Mom back to Georgia with us and it all started again at an innocuous truck stop somewhere between Memphis and Birmingham. The women’s bathroom was full so I opted to use the men’s. The door was open so as I was going in, I met a gentleman coming out. He smiled at me and said “Gotcha.” Mom immediately turned away from us and broke down into the kind of laughter that starts at the diaphragm and leaves one gasping for air and unable to talk.
8-11-08 Today was Mom’s real birthday. We drove from Evans to Fayetteville, NC. I very carefully obeyed all speed limit signs and only cussed under my breath at all the other fucked up drivers. Our first tourist stop was the Airborne Museum and thanks to Murphy’s Law, it was closed every Monday. OK, I wasn’t going to let this snafu ruin our first day on the road. I vaguely remembered the Cross Creek Mall where I had wiled away many hours, while living at Ft. Bragg. We ended up feasting on Chinese food served on a plastic plate. We shopped as only two addicts can and ended up at Talbot’s petite department so my tiny mother could find anorexic clothes to fit her frame. Of course, I don’t have this irritating problem, every store under the sun caries a size fat. (Mom, I never got your invisible waist that you promised me when I was fifteen. Crap, how old do I have to be?) Mom looked absolutely fabulous in a peacock blue sweater and skirt set.
Next, we went to the Coffee Scene for birthday cake and coffee. Getting back to the hotel was problematic. We made several wrong turns until I started recognizing street names. We pulled into the Hampton Inn and were horrified to see some fat man open the door to our room and go in. I was about to jump out of the car and beat his ass (I wonder if OnStar provides that service?) when Mom, choking back laughter, suggested we drive to the next parking lot. We both got the giggles and barely crawled to our room. It was at this point I told my mom you can’t be smart and beautiful. She just apologized leaving me wondering which one she thought I was.
8-12-08 We started out driving at 9:00 and drove to the VA Welcome Center. Hot damn, I hit pay dirt because the smart little cookie working behind the counter gave me the appropriate maps and, as an extra bonus, drew out our route. I promptly forgot the maps and left them in the bathroom. After a huge cluster fuck, I returned to the Welcome Center and retrieved them. Then it was on to Starbucks and Williamsburg. We pulled into the Hampton Inn Williamsburg, registered and regrouped. We then headed downtown to the Visitor’s Center. We saw a short movie on John Frye (a burgess in early Williamsburg, we left before the movie was over -I whispered to Mom I knew how it ended.) Mom bought us both two day passes and we ended the day at Ruby Tuesday. We also shopped at Yankee Candle, decided it was too expensive but ended up buying our friend a pair of blue candles for her table.
8-13-08 We were off to Ft. Eustis around 9:30. We ate breakfast at the hotel and got directions from the front desk. When we drove through the front gate-the MP's were very kind and provided us with a map. We started at the Morale, Welfare and Recreation (MWR) office, then tanked up and went to the PX. We bought the only souvenirs available-ceramic mugs, with Fort Eustis emblazoned across the front. This whole time Mom and I were swapping memories, she remembered our old set of quarters as being nearby.
When we left the PX, I followed the old, familiar pine trees to an older set of buildings called Okinawa Village. I turned in and we were both surprised and happy that I had found the apartments that looked just like the ones where we used to live. I was going to turn around and drive down by the river when voila-there was our old apartment building (2322) and our old set of quarters. I wanted to get out immediately but there was a Doberman Pinscher running loose behind the apartments (It would have never happened while we were living there because the quasi-Colonel Klink-like MP's would have issue some ticket or other to the hapless owners). Mom and I waited for as long as we could then I got out and started snapping pictures. I slowly walked around our building, remembering the Alban's, Rapski's, Lenhart's, Hunt's, and Bates.
We turned the car toward the front gate and ended up by the Ft Eustis club. A nice, young soldier instructed us to follow him to the main gate and he gave us a royal tour of the new Ft. Eustis. Thanks to OnStar, we made it back to Williamsburg and the tour of the Capitol Building.
8-14-08 The next day was reserved for Jamestown. I was amazed that we had to buy another ticket just to stand on the banks of the James River. This spot was run by the park service, while the settlement was run by the state. It seems only the shuttle was covered by our two-day pass. I began to violently believe in tourist traps. What a rip.
We didn't watch the movie in the center; we walked across the footbridge to the riverbank. We joined the tour of the character Mary Buck. We were both bored and decided to tour the site on our own. We checked out the 1607 church, the statues of John Smith and Pocahontas (or as some like to say, Cokeahontas) and the old cemetery.
We sat on a bench catching our breath before boarding the shuttle to the ships and Jamestown settlement. We saw the Susan Constant, Discovery and the Godspeed-but what really caught my attention was a family of midgets. As near as I could remember they never made the history books. How relevant was this? After the ships, we walked back through the settlement. Man, everything looked smaller than I remembered it. Maybe the little people felt right at home…
After Jamestown, it was back to Williamsburg and lunch at Huzzah's. Next, we ventured out on the cobblestone and horse dung-laced streets. We managed to see the jail, armory and gardens. We saved the best for last, the Governor's Palace. Once we were ushered inside, the tour guide made us all feel uncomfortable. What a Nazi. He barked out what we were not supposed to do and then raked a poor unsuspecting girl over the coals for drinking Sprite. Her mother tried to smooth the situation over by lamely telling him that they joined the tour late and didn't hear his orders. What is up with all of these sucky tour guides? When we got back to our room, I feel asleep watching a Reba marathon.
8-15-08 Bright and early on Friday morning, I was at the business center downloading Mapquest directions. We ate and then loaded the luggage in the car. By this time, Mom and I had decided it was a woman-hater who had written all of the maps we had been using all week. We drove with our uncanny sense of direction and made it to 95 S. We stopped for lunch at Exit 95 and shopped all afternoon. Mom bought another suit (the clotheshorse rides again) and she bought me a cute pair of Ecco sandals.
We stayed at the same Hampton Inn in Fayetteville. Mom didn't want to unload her suitcase so she hopped into the trunk and pulled out her pajamas. I told her she looked like she belonged on the Soprano's. We watched Mrs. Doubtfire, Dr. Phil and the Olympics. Lights out at ten.
8-16-08 It was overcast, what a perfect day for driving. We only ran into traffic as we got closer to Augusta. Finally, we pulled into the driveway at my house. my daughter was home but my husband wasn’t. I felt like kissing the ground. Mom and I were safely at home, the trip was over and we had made many memories.
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